May 20, 2016: Unashamed

May 20 2016This is my biggest struggle right now: feeling through a “new platform” if you will. It’s awkward and extremely uncomfortable to be frank.

I 100% believe in the greater plan but trusting in Him to use such an intimate part of my life is hard. 26 years old and internal “health” is an issue? How do scans upon scans just show up covered in masses when life has been so dang beautiful? How can I carry and birth a beautiful baby girl one day and barely hold her the next? I’ve come so far in my walk in faith this last year alone but putting potential timelines on life is hard as fear of being left out sits in. This still doesn’t feel real to me. And I want to be as candid as I can through this journey when I can just in case someone I can’t reach from Edmond, Oklahoma is waiting for a simple message of Love. 

How do we remain strong through these fears?
I’ll share ☺️ … He makes me strong. Jesus Christ was sent for me, for you, to take every single pain, ailment, fear, condemning thought, sin, bitter perception, terror-physical, emotional, spiritual.. All of it. In spirit, He was given to us by God in perfect love. This is not about us. This is about our Kingdom and what He has planned, which is so great that no religion can articulate the greatness that can simply infiltrate our hearts when we listen. It is finished! I am made new daily by the grace of God and given a strength that is not my own. It is supernatural, calming, and peaceful.

I am so motivated by my family and friends to beat earthly cancer. The continued prayers for healing light up my thoughts while I lay in radiation each day and when I am up at night. Thank you so very much for rooting for me after so many years or not even ever meeting me- my heart pours out gratitude. I believe in miracles and know that we will put up the best fight around.
But the notes I’m receiving that someone’s faith in God is being fueled just a little bit stronger as they empathize with our immediate struggles puts me right back to where my heart and soul is now and will forever be. I continually pray that God uses me how He envisions, even when I don’t understand. 


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