January 19, 2017: Here We Go Again!

Friends, it is time I share what has been going on this past week and if you can, please pause for a second and picture me on my knees begging you and everyone you know to pray through this with me and my family because these posts and my time spent sharing intimate details of my journey with cancer are not for social media entertainment or a gossip column about “have you heard about Jeni?!”… I share these details because I have faith in Jesus’ promise (Matthew 17:20 #mustardseedfaith) and the power of prayer. Not the kind of empty “aw, so sad…I’ll pray for you” prayer but EARNEST (James 5:16-18), AUDACIOUS (#joshua), INTENTIONAL prayer. I believe God is good and I believe Jesus died for me so I can live for Him, even if that means I suffer in these small worldly ways. My life was transformed by His Grace and this embarrassing and emotional can-barely-hold-my-baby//lose-my-hair-twice//firstname-basis-with-all-the-doctors//cancer-sucks story will somehow, someway be used for His glory. 
The MRI scan of my brain last week show an unfortunate growth of new cancer around my brain. 
There are a handful of friends and family members that I wasn’t able to call this week starting to cry already, please don’t be sad. 
The good news is that my medical team is very aggressive and put together a treatment plan that has already started. In addition to the continuation of my “chemo pill” Tarceva, I have to visit my friends in the radiation department for whole brain radiation twice a day for two weeks. 
There are so many intentional prayers needed here…I will trust that the spirit leads each of you reading this to know what something specific you can pray with us. (Speak over the cancer cells to leave my body, prayers for the radiation team treating me, prayers over everyone helping me get to the cancer center twice each day, pray for the next scans to be clear, ETC!)
The type of growth in my brain is the same I described at my last hospitalization when Leptomeningeal Disease was found at the base of my spine. This is just a different kind of cancer growth, unlike a typical “tumor mass,” it occurs when tumor cells infiltrate the layers of protective tissue surrounding the brain and spinal cord and begin to grow. So you can better envision, my past brain tumors (2 of which remain in the back of my right and left cerebellum/ 16 of which disappeared after my first round of radiation last summer) were masses in my brain, whereas this new progression of cancer is around the lining of my brain. Even though it’s a different type of cancerous growth, the radiation to my whole brain will cause my hair to fall out once again. 
The good news I have has me praising God for answered prayers! I’ve prayed and prayed and cried and cried over my pain. One of my doctors was able to finally able to put a reason to the rhyme; Cauda Equina Syndrome. My severe lower back pain is due to the leptomeningeal disease at the base of my spine (that we already knew about) damaging all the nerve roots that are down there, causing radiculopathy (a rare condition where nerves don’t work properly), making all of my complaints and tears over severe pain, weakness, and a numb right leg believable! My doctor is confident that three weeks of radiation to this area will reduce the agitation at that site and provide pain relief. Hallelujah! 
I want everyone to know that I am OKAY. I am under the best care where I am and have the best support team (all of you). Please don’t feel obligated to write me unless you feel called to share your prayers and well wishes… I am confident that He hears all of these prayers and that is enough. This week has been painful, but has drawn me and my husband closer, me and my family closer, and given me much much much deeper gratitude for this life I’ve been blessed with. 

Xo #jenistrong 

#herewegoagain 

#considerjesus

Here are a few photos Adam was able to take when the radiation team was fitting me for my radiation mask that holds me in place during treatments. It’s not fun but kind of fascinating. 

Lastly, Please join us in saying goodbye to my hair, again. You all know it’s my favorite part of this! (Isn’t my husband handsome?!)

14 thoughts on “January 19, 2017: Here We Go Again!

  1. Peggy says:

    Oh my sweet friend. My prayer is strength for your family, compassionate healing treatment for your nurses and doctors, calm and peace for you and Adam. Mostly, I pray for God to remove this disease from your body. I know His purpose for you is greater than anything we can understand. Love and prayers are coming your way.

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  2. Jeni Lloyd says:

    Jeni fellow cancer hater (diagnosed 2005) and Jesus lover. I am and will continue to pray. This we know…if God is for us who can be against us? In Jesus name every cell in Jeni’s body must bow in submission to the authority of the name above all names. Thank you Father for creating Jeni’s boy for healing. 💕

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  3. Reba Ludwig says:

    Jeni and Family, prayers and I will put you on my Church prayer list ASAP! I love you strong Jeni!
    Reba 🙏🏻❤🌹

    Also prayers for the staff, Doctors, ALL treating you!

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  4. Patty Powell says:

    Jeni, you are a strong, beautiful lady. Today is my birthday. When I blew out my candles, my wish and thoughts were for you. I wished for pain relief and so much more for you. I mean that sincerely. You have been in my daily thoughts and prayers since I first met you. God’s blessing for you and your family.

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  5. Rita says:

    Jeni I have been thinking about you and praying for you a lot this week as well- I will continue those prayers and ask God to continue to give you and your beautiful family strength to continue this fight and this time WIN it! XO Rita

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  6. Lindsey McElvaney says:

    Oh Jeni! I am in awe of your faith! You are reaching so many and there is absolutely purpose in your pain. God works all things out for good and He is going to use you in ways unimaginable! You are a beautiful soul and I am so honored to know you. You shine so bright. Intentional prayers for supernatural strength and peace that only He can offer and in His name I pray you are healed.

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  7. Sammantha says:

    Oh Jeni, you give me strength when I am feeling weak, you make me look at the positive side when all I can see is the negative in the world, you give me hope when I’m feeling hopeless and believe it or not you have brought me closer to Jesus because of what you have gone through. My sister Heidi is a friend of yours, she told me about your diagnosis last year and I have been a praying machine ever since. I’m not in the same position as you but I do know a thing or two about yucky cancer. And it just stinks. But since our son had been diagnosed it really made me realize how we truly are God’s Angels. Each one of us is put on this earth for a reason. We have a purpose. To spread awareness, to making a difference in someone’s life and to bring people closer to God. At first it didn’t feel like that, when Grayson was diagnosed I automatically felt like we were being punished for not being the perfect Christians, we didn’t pray, we didn’t know what to believe, we were so mad at God. We were so angry. But your posts came about and you lifted my spirits. You were so positive. Your faith in God was refreshing. I craved it. I wanted that too. When bad news came I wanted to still have hope. I wanted to still feel OK. I wanted to know that my worries were already answered prayers and I could let them go. I needed it before I had a nervous breakdown. And so my faith slowly started to return. Because of you I believe, I didn’t before. So not only am I beyond grateful for you and Gods work that you are doing, I pray for you constantly. Your sweet little girl, your husband, your family and your friends. I pray for your doctors, nurses and medical staff. I pray that your journey continues to inspire others and bring others to Jesus. We all need you on this earth, because there are so many like me out there. So many who have lost hope that need to hear your testimony.

    I know you don’t know me, but you can follow our sons page if you would like. Knuckles for Grayson Owens on Facebook. You’ve got this girl! Much love (prayers everyday) and hugs to you!

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  8. Jeanette Weeks says:

    Hi Jeni,
    I will continue to pray for you too. I think about you often and how amazing and positive you are. I love your Mom, she is such a great example to me of kindness and love. You have more faith than anyone I know and Everything is possible through Him.
    ❤️ Your Cousin Jeanette in Idaho

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  9. Bridgette Gilliland says:

    Hey girl! You are a brave fighter and we are all behind you! I know you’re in the midst of your treatment but I wanted to pass along some ideas that are helping my dad, whose also fighting cancer. He does LAETRILE injections. You can get doctors to give you drip injection which naturally eats cancer cells. It won’t hurt your radiation or chemo. Another thing that has worked wonders for him are b12 shots and probiotics. He got the probiotics at whole foods and gets weekly b12 shots at the Swan Clinic on Speedway. I hope you feel better soon!

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  10. Tyra Massey says:

    Heartfelt prayers! We have a big God with a big Heart for his kids! I love the verse, Be still and know that I am God. I have had several close family members have cancer and I know the power of prayer! Praying God’s favor over you and your family.

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